Posted by: My Personal Vet | July 21, 2010

Grief

Goodbye Kitty

Last night a very loved cat passed away.  I was there, I’m his vet, I made the recommendation, I helped him leave.

He had spent the weekend at the emergency hospital being cared for by the best.  Although still ill, yesterday he went home to continue trying to recover.  Last night, it was time to leave.  Why, then, do all parties feel guilt?

His parents are very loving people who regularly help others, volunteer locally, and care with all their hearts for all creatures — including the skunk who has taken residence near them, the deer who eat all their flowers, the squirrels who run rampant, and all the local birds.  They are fabulous.

Yet they are wracked with guilt about getting mad when he bit them!  And maybe not loving him enough or feeding him the right food or being there for him.  And I’m upset because I couldn’t heal him or care for him more effectively.  I’m not sure what we want to have done.  And I’m really not sure why guilt should even be part of “the grieving process”.  What does that mean anyway?  Why are there steps to grieving?  Can’t we just be really sad and miss the creature great or small?  Why all the doubt and guilt and regret?

It’s sad enough without the self-incrimination.  Or, does the self-incrimination relieve the pain of aching loss?  Even if just for a minute?  I don’t know.  I do know they loved him with all their hearts. I do know I did my very best.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: